Saturday, April 30, 2005

i wish, i wish, i wish....

Haiz, juz got home...im so damned pissed and exhausted....haiz...y? haiz let me go thru my day lah....

Firstly, went for jamming session, we were trying out a new drummer...niways, it went great but the problem is that i was totally out of form....my bass playing was really out of sotz...n tat really started to make me down....

Den i was forced to accompany my parents to Plaza Singapura...had to take the MRT from yck...din noe if the lift there was ready for use coz i dun usually take the mrt...so i asked Azie and she tot i want to take wheelchair to sch...sheesh haiz....

Niways, this is the frustrating part...sometyms i juz wish tat my dad wldnt be so fussy...he's wheelchair bound and yet he doesnt noe how to keep still...keep wanting to go out...and if he does, he cant go out alone, so ppl have to accompany him....and let me tell u, pushing a wheelchair ard crowded areas is not an easy task, especially if ppl ard are so damn inconsiderate....all along, i tot ppl shd give way to wheelchairs...but i was wrong. seems lyk wheelchair have to give way to ppl...

And wat really frustrates me is tat my dad is so fussy...so troublesome. Keep on wanting to go to places where space is not a luxury, and wif a wheelchair ard, space is really a need....

Haiz im so frustrated i dun even noe how to explain wat happened...but thinking abt lyf, i have to say...i wish, i wish, i wish....haiz...i juz wish tat lyf can be easier on me...i try n try to block these things away, try to avoid dem or at least get tym away from them...but i cant...i crack jokes to lighten my mood up...but its gettin worst...haiz...i juz wish.....

I wish i cld tell u how i feel....
I wish i cld be stronger....
I wish i cld tok to u more....
I wish i cld spent more tym wif u....
I wish i was a better person....
I wish i i cld have more inspiration to write better songs....
I wish i wish i wish....
I wish i was brave enuf to work for what i wish for and not hide lyk a coward....

Im juz a hopeless fool trying to make her happy and wishing she feel the same way...but i better stop dreaming or dissapointment and sadness will be here for good.....

Shad checked in on...Saturday, April 30, 2005

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Old Skool...

Juz wen i mentioned i miss the old gang, suddenly they pop up haha...it all started wen my mum asked me to find at least 2 ppl to help wif my cuzins' moving house...n since they whr shifting to Ang Mo Kio, i decided to try asking Roma...and so i called him last tues and somehow the conversation lasted longer den i expected...we basically did some catching up and i found out tat he too has not been in contact wif the gang recently...somehow the conversation found its way into music and on the spur of the moment, we decided to meet up the next day juz to slack and play guitar.

Since he wanted to buy some clothes at penisular, we decided on slacking at esplanade. i was worried there wld be so many ppl doin CPR there haha but wat da heck rite...haha anyways, i called ahmad on wednesday to ask if he wanted to tag along but he cldnt make it...but the funny thing was that rite after i put down wif him, the fone rang...sumhow i knew it was for me...and true enuf, it was Farhan...haha the last i heard of him was a few weeks after our gig at tapestry...and so i asked if he wanted to join us too...he did...

Niways farhan only meet us later...meanwhile me and roma played guitar up at the roof top but unlike the other day wif my classmates, there was no wind at all, its was so humid...and after abt an hour plus, i got an sms from amalina asking us to come to coffee bean at somerset, and after calling Farhan up, we decided to go there since rosz and minah was working...so sumhow it became somewhat lyk a reunion for us...haha it was fun lah...tho i must say there was some awkwardness for me...but tat definitely did not stop us pulling the old jokes...haha and so we slacked at the coffe bean till ard 12.20am....haha yah...tat late...i wanted to leave earlier but wat the heck, i noe i wont get to meet them often....

Niways, today, my mum wanted me to meet up wif my cuzins Fitri, and Farhan to show them whr their new house is. I was suppose to meet them at 5.30 at YCK MRT but knowing them, i purposely came late...i reach there at ard 5.50 and true enuff there were not there...and so i waited...and i kinda had fun hahaha meet up wif my frens who having FYPJ now...haha 1st up was Wen Chun haha pity that bugger he kena do the project alone hahaha den benjamin came along....den li ching, lionel, azie, gomathi...den later fadli(not my cuzin) haha all wearing PE attire hahaha...n lionel really desrve that fuck u i gave him hahaha saw me den look away hahaha n fadli deserve one too...he ask if my cuzin whom i was waiting for was a guy or gal coz he tot if gal den cld share...wtf...share...so fuck u too!!! hahahaha....haiz...im damn bored....

Shad checked in on...Thursday, April 28, 2005

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

kizas, kizas, kizas....

Im starting to like this phrase, kizas, kizas, kizas....i guess in some way its true abt lyf...perhaps, perhaps, perhaps....for reasons beyond my knowledge, suddenly i was very happy last nite....duno y....maryam said its better 2 be happy for no reason den to be sad for no reason rite...well the thing is, i've got so many reason to be sad abt...yet im happy for no reason....

So y am i so happy???? let me try to figure it out....

Kizas its coz my fren my fren blurted out gonedoo n goondog instead of goondu ;)

Kizas its coz my fren got astro boy for a partner hahaha

Kizas its coz my fren get to see the color he wants to see at his work place

Kizas its coz my fren interested in my other fren from the pic i have in my hp haha

Kizas its coz i still feel comfortable toking to my long lost fren

Kizas its coz Miss guangyang 2001 thinks i got killer instinct hahaha

Kizas its coz my fren trying to deny she is mushy ;)

Kizas its coz my fren is juz out dated

Kizas its coz Yamaha sell chicken LOLX

Kizas its coz she's happy(even tho i noe im not the one who made her happy)

Kizas its coz i miss the gang....

Kizas its coz ppl may lyk my songs

Kizas its coz my fren can actually believe i was in a shotgun marriage sheesh

Kizas its coz my old work mates want me working back there again....

Kizas its coz my old work mates 'begged' me not to quit coz they think it'll be boring if i do

Kizas its coz some of my old work mates did actually quit after i did....issit really boring????

Kizas its coz i miss those late nite fone calls....

Kizas its coz i miss performing

Kizas its coz my dad lost his job

Kizas it coz i think of her most of the tym...

Kizas its coz i got a few screws lose in my head

Kizas its coz Blink 182 went hiatus indefinitely

Kizas its coz the video in my blog is damn lag

Kizas its coz i really want her to notice when im not ard

Kizas its coz i think too much

Kizas its coz i have 2 guitars

Kizas its coz i collect guitar plectrums

Kizas its coz i have a blog

Kizas its coz Alverico is still alive

Kizas its coz everyone forgotten abt Raphael

Kizas its coz im writing music again

Kizas its coz i cant envisage myself graduating from poly

Kizas its coz i duno how im gg to get thru lyf

Kizas its coz im still unsure of how things is gg 2 be after poly

Kizas its coz the world is so different now

Kizas its coz i really want to feel the way she makes me feel wen im with her

Kizas its coz with each day passing, it means the next episode of joey is comin haha

Kizas its coz i will always be rememberes for the wrong reasons

Kizas its coz its because, because, because its spelled B-E-C-A-U-S-E

Kizas its coz im bored

Kizas its coz i noe i have lost my chance(tat is if i ever had one)

I give up....why am i so happy....??? i duno....guess mebi im juz crazy....

Shad checked in on...Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Monday, April 25, 2005

Blurred vision sux

My mum had an appointment wif an eye care specialist today....she was gg to have some laser stuff done on her eyes...For those who duno, my family on my mum side is affected by some genetic problems which affect our eye sights...tats explain the thickness in my degree haha i started wearing specs at 2...anyways, the doctor wanted to test on me for sometym now but because of exams, i finally showed up today, i had to accopmany my mum anyway. In order to have the test done, the doctor had the nurse to put some chemical in my eyes to dilate my eyes...at first it was ok...den after awhile, blurness stepped in...n according to my mum it will last for abt 4 hours...

It sucked man, walking ard wif blurred vision....i cant even read smses properly...i guess now i noe how my mum look at this world, or rather imagine how she see...niways, my dad had his rehab today to...so later me n my mum joined my dad n my aunt who accompanied him....it was den i took over the wheelchair pushing duties...n i really hate tat at hospitals...why??? cause i always get stared at...sheesh i wonder why...my mum opinion is tat ppl think im showing off....issit so wrong to help my mum out???? sheesh...the crutches we had to bring along were giving her probs so i helped her carry it too while pushing my dad...i had my other hand free anyways...n i wonder why my mum complains its hard to push the wheelchair...i really dun see any problem....

Niways, i learned smth interesting last nite hahaha found out that Bia's gonna get a cert for walking ard lyk a chicken hahaha its true, its true. Juz ask her lah hahaha sheesh i really din noe tat walking ard lyk a chicken is a part of yoga...n get this, there is smth called the fish pose too ahahaha....its a pose, according to Bia, where your neck gets to look back hahaha really ur neck gets to look back....i din noe it can look in the 1st place haha....

Btw, any of u rmb abt bia wondering since when yamaha started selling chicken??? Well, acording to her, its not funny...she say she find it weird tat me n fadhly laff at it...according to her, azie din laff at it when she heard it....so the qns is, Azie, did u or did u not laff when u heard abt it???? hahaha i guess bia never learn...she dared fadhly abt this, as in ask 10 ppl if its funny...now she 1 2 dare me???? hahaha i have proven so many tyms that i usually gamble when im sure i can win haha ask fadhly, azie, jy, maryam n the list juz keep on gg....so this isnt any different...i will definitely have no problem finding 10 ppl...in fact as it is, fadhly n maryam oredy laffing....n im sure azie did too even if Bia denies it, n i forgot a few others. So now im gg to start asking ard those who noes her...so its gona be amalina, roma, farhan, ahmad and i'll think for a few others haha...

So amal, if u reading this, laff k hahaha....haiz....gtg now...

Will you remember me, coz i know i won't forget you....

Shad checked in on...Monday, April 25, 2005

Saturday, April 23, 2005

strange....

Weird things are happening in my lyf....i think hahaha

Before i explain, i juz wanted to say smth in case i forget later. Rmb a few days ago wen i blog and wish amalina happy birthday, well i forget to mention smth...and this is by the way against her will...n im telling coz she wont cut a deal wif me....niways for your info, she was MISS GUANGYANG 2001!!!! hahaha

Niways wats so wierd...well i duno lah....juz tot when i start mixing ard wif jy and gang, i wld stop slacking ard and start studying...but...last thurs, i found myself slacking at a coffee shop wif jy n azie...haha the only diff was that this tym ard, i din smoke haha...i guess u can take slacking away from the guy but u cant take guy away from the slacking haha....

N on the way home...in the bus, i was day dreaming or rather nite dreaming wen i suddenly saw an army tank beside me...sheesh...haha wat the hell was an army tank doin in the middle of the road man haha wonder if it flattened anyone....

Haiz...i so pokai now...need 2 get a job...was planning to make a bbq for my class n a few of my frens...unless i get a job, i guess i can forget abt tat....my allowance is gettin a big cut u see....

i guess tats it for now...i duno wat else to say...

Shad checked in on...Saturday, April 23, 2005

Friday, April 22, 2005

all i want to do is make sure you stop chasing rainbows trusting those around you is an easy thing to do i'm not saying don't believe in someone that you don't know just don't go on thinking that the whole world tells the truth -Chasin Rainbows, NUFAN

Shad checked in on...Friday, April 22, 2005

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Because, because, because....

Ppl say that when someone is murdered or had a unfortunate death some place the spirit will haunt the place...so what is it with cinemas? Some how i can see someone being murdered there...hmm i guess stories that spirits like to haunt places where ppl tend to do 'dirty' or 'cpr' (as JY and zomb wld say) is true....i went to watch "Infection" at yishun wif a few of my classmate today...Me, JY, Azie and Sam...

I wasnt sure if it was a ghost story or a story abt diseases at first...but despite the title, i had a feeling tat it was a ghost story...and the white figure standing between the rows of seats din help either...but the movie turns out to be kind of a dissapointment....it was neither a ghost story or a story abt a sickness as the title suggests...rather, its abt a doctor who is so stressed up and havin a guilty conciense attack and so went on a killing spree....but this was only revealed at the end of the show...and even then, it wasnt revealed tat clearly...thru out the whole show, it looked lyk a ghost story...onli at the end did it explain briefly...too briefly....niways...im juz glad tat the white figure minded its own business...

Niways the outing was quite fun too...especially since i cld keep jy in suspense haha "Its because, because, because it's spelled B-E-C-A-U-S-E" hahaha dun understand??? Go ask JY abt it...he can explain...if he hvnt forgot tat is... hahaha

So today is April 21st....Juz 1 2 take this moment to wish a great fren HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Erm...What's ur name again....Nur? erm...shit i forgot.....Nur is it? ermm haha Nuramalina hahaha....Mal, u always proven to be a gd fren since i known u....and now u'r 20...so old hahaha Welcome to adulthood...enjoy...haha rmb wat i said k, if u need any help, dun hesitate to approach me...after all u done for me, i sure dun mind helping u :)

Also, i wld like to wish Nes and advance happy birthday too....tho i may not noe u well and the fact that u r so far away in Turkey doesnt help...i appreciate tat u remembered some stuff abt me...n so Happy birthday, i noe it falls on 22nd April...Enjoy k...

Maybe you're from a different planet, one i want to invade-Always Carrie, NUFAN


Shad checked in on...Thursday, April 21, 2005

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

What a bunch of liars....

What a way to start a day....woke up to find my turtle dead...haiz...juz wen i started enjoying watching the fish tank again...

Den smth worst happen....my dad got a call....he juz got fired from his job...

After 10 long years of service....this is his reward....FUCK!!!!!

What a bunch of liars....

They said his job was safe.....

I got nothing more to say......

Shad checked in on...Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Creep...

Cant describe juz how much i lyk this song man...juz wish this video wld stop being so laggy and play the song smoothly so that i can enjoy it wen im online...

Creep by Radiohead
When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so f**king special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice when I'm not around
You're so f**king special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell I'm doing here?
I don't belong here

She's running out again
She's running out
She runs runs runs

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so f**king special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here



Shad checked in on...Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Fantastics quotes

As promised, im gonna blog abt "fantastic quotes" by my frens n family hahaha


"I wish the whole world can hibernate together and give the earth rest" -by the wise JY haha i wish things were that simple....

"Yamaha got sell chicken meh?" -by rabia when her fren wanted to buy drum sticks....

"I mastered the art oredy" -by JY, u juz have to be there to enjoy this sentence hehe

"Ko nye org pendiam eh" -by fizah, the translation of this is -u r a quiet person

"Jgn marah eh, aku nye org memang suke kaco org" -by ayu, translation -Sori, im the type of person who likes to disturb ppl....haha she later regret saying tat to me after ard 10 mins...hahaha

"Yazid, aku nak tgk adik ko yg paling kecik" -by dila, translation -Yazid, can i see ur smallest brother...haha this had us laffing like hell and for those who understand it, im sure u'll be laffing too...

"Wah koaz, u superman" -by JY, this was part of the 1st conversation i had wif him...wen is he gg 2 understand tat being able to go a 2 days without sleep doesnt make u a superman coz he still says tat haha

"Shad has that 'kuai' look abt him..." -by James, for those who duno, kuai somewhat means innocent or gd....hahaha

"Eh u teach him how to make his one strong leh" -by Geannie, she said this to me while pointing at lionel's dick hahaha

"NAMPAK CHILLI!" -by azie, translation -SEE CHILLI! she said this when she was irritated by hafiz haha apparently this is how she threaten ppl haha

"She my nanny wat, juz no milk" -by sam aka mint, she said this in the god damned library man haha ppl all turned...she was refering to azie btw, so u guys think wat u want ah...haha

"Im shy" -by Rabia, 1 2 noe the punchline? juz get to noe her, enuf said hahaha

"Im so shy" -by Azie, get 2 noe her too, enuf said haha

"Mr softee really soft ah" -by Rabia, can u ppl believe she only got to noe abt softee wen she entered JC? sheesh....

"Wah a day without Albert damn sian" -by JY, i started being careful after i heard this hahaha

"Sisters should stick together" -by Ahmad, he was toking to samantha abt he n his sis wen he his tounge slipped hahaha

"Aku nak dgr suare die!" -i duno who said this but i overheard it when my fren called me....it was a fren of hers....translation -I want to hear his voice!

"Aku dulu!" -again i duno who said this, i heard it after the one above but it really made me feel like my voice was an exhibition in a zoo or smth...translation -Me too!

"Die pandai bobal ngan pompan" -by fadhly's godsis, translation -he's good at talking with gals....wat's so fantastic and amazing abt this is tat i din tok to her much, she was doing all the toking hahaha all i did was mostly, yes, no, yah, hmmm, ok, uhuh....

"You can be a radio deejay" -by kamal, wen i make prank calls, i never once expected any sort of compliments hahaha

"What is Kamasutra?" -by JY, i admire the innocence in this guy...find it hard to believe he's my age sometyms....

"FISHBALL!" -by Farhan, my younger cuzin. he said this wen he was 5. Wats so funny? He was pointing at a picture of a whale haha...cute...

"Yahudi mabok!" -by Mizi, translation -Crazy jew! haha he was describing hafiz's technique of playing punk rock on the guitar hahaha

"Eh he's trying to put it in!" -by my cuzin nain, he was watching a R(A) movie, Basic Instinct, for the 1st tym hahahaha

"Asal tgk cerite cium-cium ni!" -by my 3 yr old nephew Danial, translation -Why are you watching kissing shows! haha he was actually scolding his aunty who happened 2 be watching Days of our lives, a soap opera...haha he is really damn cute hahaha

Well thats all i can remember now...actually there are some more that is juz too long to put up here...i will blog sum more if i do remember more hahaha






Shad checked in on...Sunday, April 17, 2005

Saturday, April 16, 2005

smokers vs drinkers

Yesterday i visited fadhl's father at the hosp. Its good that he seem alrite. The doc said it isnt seriuz so he will be discharged soon. Niways, a funny, frenly debate started between him n my sis abt smokers which my uncle somehow twist it into a smokers vs drinkers debate so as to disguise the harm of smoking. After much debate, he said "Imagine u walking down the street in the middle of the nite and u see a smoker on one side an a drunken on the other, whr wld u feel safer??"

haha smart eh....haha i guess being a smoker isnt tat bad...i really feel lyk smoking again, but i wont. For now that is...niways, i hae been hearing many funny quotes lately, mebi 1 day i will blog dem haha quotes from my frens... for now juz dld the song below n enjoy it.

When I'm With You by Simple Plan


I’m taking my time
I'm trying to leave the memories of you behind
I'm gonna be fine
As soon as I get your picture right out of my mind

I wanna feel the way you make me feel
When I'm with you
I wanna be the only hand
You need to hold on to
But every time I call you don't have time
I guess I'll never get to call you mine

You’re nothing at all
I know there’s a million reasons why I shouldn't call
When nothing to say
Could easily make this conversation last all day

I wanna feel the way you make me feel
When I'm with you
I wanna be the only hand
You need to hold on to
But every time I call you don't have time
I guess I'll never get to call you mine

Another lesson
I didn't get to learn
You’re my obsession
I've got nowhere to turn

I wanna feel the way you make me feel
When I'm with you
I wanna be the only hand
You need to hold on to

I wanna feel the way you make me feel
When I'm with you
I wanna be the hand
You need to hold on

I wanna feel the way you make me feel
When I'm with you
I wanna be the only hand
You need to hold on to
But I guess I'll never get to call you mine



Shad checked in on...Saturday, April 16, 2005

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Speed Demon?

I had to bring my dad to interchg today, didnt really feel lyk it but din have anything to do at home anyways, so i juz followed...met my mum at the intchg as she was from yishun...niways, the whole tym i was there, i kept on getting the same old complaint from them....and that is im pushing the wheelchair to fast hahaha...i guess the reason is coz im very use to handling wheelchairs...i was once even force to use a wheelchair by the nurse after my operation even tho i cld walk...

Niways, if i ever get ard to taking my license be it motor or car, i dun think my parents wld ever ride wif me hahaha coz the think im a speed demon...sheesh...their proof is me pushing wheelchairs n riding my bicycle...haha as if they can judge by tat...im no speed demon....

Hmmm...and today is the first tym i got angry wif a cat...while i was pushing the wheel chair, a cat jumped directly in front of the right wheel of the wheelchair...luckily i cld stop in tym...it was inches away from being flattened by the wheelchair...i was so angry man....i cld have kill it...sheesh....even tho i do have frens who may have "murdered" a kitten once, im not a cat killer ;)(to that fren of mine, dun angry ah, joking onli hahaha) and to make the day worst, i saw hamimah's twin. eeeeeeeyuckssss....damn...i really tot it was hamimah haha the resemblence os damn eerie....scary....

Shad checked in on...Thursday, April 14, 2005

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Life n Death...

Juz got home from "my" house in pasir ris. Been a long time since i last when there...found out that the guards have changed. The nite shift guard is now a frendly old pakcik...no more tat seriuz indian guy haha...niways, did some cleaning up there haha n yah we starved there haha no food there ah haha...

Niways, we went home at ard 4...and while at downtown east, it started raining heavily so we were stuck there for like 2-3 hours...n so we walk towards the intercgh to take our respectives bus home. For those who are familliar wif the area, u'll noe tat there is a big drain very near downtown east...one of those big longkangs that will be filled up wenever heavy rain occur. Well as we pass it, it was lyk damn filled up wif water. N we cld see that the current was very strong. A tot suddenly came to my mind and without hesitation i asked fadhly and ahmad a qns. U see, all 3 of us are cat lovers and so i asked dem, "if u saw a small innocent kitten drowning in there, wat wld u do?" N both of them answered tat they cld not do anything as they both cant swim...

N i duno if it was juz a coincidence or smth, but juz after they answered we all stopped in our tracks coz we saw smth struggling in the water...at 1st, we tot it was a baby seal...coz it really looked lyk one...but after a few seconds, we realised tat it was a small monitor lizard trying to swim across the drain. And although it was struggling, it looked lyk it cld make it...tats wat we tot...we were standing there kinda supporting it, hoping it wld make it...den it did...it claws or wateva u 1 2 call dem touched the side sloping surface of the drain...but....i guess it was slippery...it just went under...n tat was the last we saw of it....all the hard work down the drain...literally....

Wen i reached home, i went online, and a few minits later fadhly came online too....n he msged me. He said he father was on the way to the hosp due to hernia n he was unsure if his dad was gg to be warded...as far as i noe, hernia is dangerous for adults...hope he'll be ok...juz a few weeks ago he undergo an op due to appendix...

N juz yest, i read that azie's grandfather passed away...n i guess all these juz set me thinking, life is really damn short...it can go away at any moment...damn i got to start enjoying it...

Shad checked in on...Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Friday, April 08, 2005

Vacant...

I suddenly find this place insignificant and useless....hmmm...mebi im juz very pissed off at the moment...y cant some ppl juz use their brains once in a while...it doesnt hurt u noe...

If i evert meet u again, i will not hesitate to show u how angry i am...dun go ard saying u miss ur children wen u can easily abandon dem wif no food or money....u dun deserve the joy of havin children! u dun deserve the joy of being a father! u dun deserve the joy at all!!!!!!!!




Shad checked in on...Friday, April 08, 2005

Vacant...

I suddenly find this place insignificant and useless....hmmm...mebi im juz very pissed off at the moment...y cant some ppl juz use their brains once in a while...it doesnt hurt u noe...

If i evert meet u again, i will not hesitate to show u how angry i am...dun go ard saying u miss ur children wen u can easily abandon dem wif no food or money....u dun deserve the joy of havin children! u dun deserve the joy of being a father! u dun deserve the joy at all!!!!!!!!




Shad checked in on...Friday, April 08, 2005

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Titles...

I need help...help wif giving my babies(songs) good titles coz i always seem to fail hahaha...Wen do i regard the titles as failures...? Hmm...i guess wen ppl start calling dem other things haha Let me state down wat has happen to the titles n mebi den u'll get an idea of wat i mean....

I'll juz state dem in order of my memory n not by day of completion...

Why can't i have you-
this become into a short "why" but i lyk the new title, kinda gd to me...

Halfway Down The Line-
This has two nickname, the mocking one is "lagu penat" this means, tiring song. I guess my ex band members call it tat due to it being a fast paced 5 minutes long song which requires alot of fast strumming...i admit my muscles do get tired wen playing it sumtyms...Now tho, pple jzu call it "Halfway" haha i guess short is better huh? haha

I wonder-
this become the "blue, blue sky" song...n u noe who gave it? My OWN mum hahaha she lyks it but din rmb its name so she calls it tat coz its in one of the lines hahahaha

The break up song-
this is another song tat is nicknamed from its lyrics...U noe wat its called? "Fly Jump" sheesh damn unfitting name man hahaha

B.I.H.M-
this acronym stands for Burn In Hell Mothefucka but im not sure exactly y but sum how my ex band mates remember it as the "HIV" song...so juz for laffs, i renamed it Destination H.I.V(Destination-hell in vision)

Wasted love-
this is one song tat i noe will seldom be played. The 1st song i ever wrote...Its nicknamed "lagu jiwang" haha which means erm emo/romantic song in malay...but im not sure ah coz u all noe rite my malay very bad haha but the funny thing is sumone actually said this was a perfect song haha wun say hu lah, coz i really dun lyk it called tat...nothing is perfect but things can be wasted hahaha

For now, this is all that i can actually remember...but i admit my other songs dun really have good titles n some dun even have a title...hmmm let me juz list dem out so u all get an idea(all my songs-complete/imcomplete, even those mentioned above)

Wasted Love
Moderation
Halfway
Why
Missive
The break up song
I wonder
Retrospect
Lies Of Reality
Brothers
Destination H.I.V
Life's lyk this
I hope its not too late
Down N Out
Love is Blind
Where are you
Biography of me
Remember how i fell

tats all for now...Not very good titles rite...btw, there's a few others tat havent got titles yer...so i duno how to put them here...so if any of u think u can help me, pls do coz i really think i need all the help i can get hahaha

Shad checked in on...Sunday, April 03, 2005

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Happy Birthday

@nd April, today happen to be my mum birthday, coincidently, its Maryam's dad birthday too...So juz to take the chance to wish both of them a very happy birthday...Tho i dun really noe Maryam's dad that well....

Aniways, i really dun have any idea of wat i shd buy for my mum so i decided to be nice for her as a present...haha seriuzly...for the whole of today i've been nice and wished her happy birthday the first thing this morning. And also, as part of the present, i din pull any april's fools joke the whole of yesterday haha no i din forget, juz decided to be nice to my mum....n to others....once in a yr must take a break from disturbing others hehehe...

So yah...aniways...to mum, i appreciate all that u have done for me, all ur sacrifices, ur blood, ur sweat, ur tears, ur care n ur effort. As from a few lines from my latest incomplete song-

"And im sorry mum, for i cld never be the child that u want..."

"And im sorry mum, for the many things that i shd have said..."

"And im grateful mum, for all the love and care that u ever shown...."

I noe some of u may think wat i said is corny ot smth but i duno how else to say it n so yah....

so to mum,

THANK YOU, I LOVE U.....

Shad checked in on...Saturday, April 02, 2005