Saturday, April 30, 2005

i wish, i wish, i wish....

Haiz, juz got home...im so damned pissed and exhausted....haiz...y? haiz let me go thru my day lah....

Firstly, went for jamming session, we were trying out a new drummer...niways, it went great but the problem is that i was totally out of form....my bass playing was really out of sotz...n tat really started to make me down....

Den i was forced to accompany my parents to Plaza Singapura...had to take the MRT from yck...din noe if the lift there was ready for use coz i dun usually take the mrt...so i asked Azie and she tot i want to take wheelchair to sch...sheesh haiz....

Niways, this is the frustrating part...sometyms i juz wish tat my dad wldnt be so fussy...he's wheelchair bound and yet he doesnt noe how to keep still...keep wanting to go out...and if he does, he cant go out alone, so ppl have to accompany him....and let me tell u, pushing a wheelchair ard crowded areas is not an easy task, especially if ppl ard are so damn inconsiderate....all along, i tot ppl shd give way to wheelchairs...but i was wrong. seems lyk wheelchair have to give way to ppl...

And wat really frustrates me is tat my dad is so fussy...so troublesome. Keep on wanting to go to places where space is not a luxury, and wif a wheelchair ard, space is really a need....

Haiz im so frustrated i dun even noe how to explain wat happened...but thinking abt lyf, i have to say...i wish, i wish, i wish....haiz...i juz wish tat lyf can be easier on me...i try n try to block these things away, try to avoid dem or at least get tym away from them...but i cant...i crack jokes to lighten my mood up...but its gettin worst...haiz...i juz wish.....

I wish i cld tell u how i feel....
I wish i cld be stronger....
I wish i cld tok to u more....
I wish i cld spent more tym wif u....
I wish i was a better person....
I wish i i cld have more inspiration to write better songs....
I wish i wish i wish....
I wish i was brave enuf to work for what i wish for and not hide lyk a coward....

Im juz a hopeless fool trying to make her happy and wishing she feel the same way...but i better stop dreaming or dissapointment and sadness will be here for good.....

Shad checked in on...Saturday, April 30, 2005