Thursday, June 23, 2005

Wakin up a broken man

I went to sleep last nite on a high but woke up today feeling broken....why?

The reason is simple....i juz feel unworthy....of wat? haiz....i wish i can say....

The thing is, i noe its been a long tym since i blog, its because i use this place to blog abt how i feel, u noe, juz a place to let out things lyk many others do...the prob is, i dun really lyk to share my feelings for a certain sumone in such a public place....mostly because i dun 1 2 shame her....coz its really a one-sided thing....

She's juz so lovely...her smile is juz so wonderful...its lyk wen she smile, the whole room kinda lights up. And she got a pair of big beautiful eyes which i really lyk to look at but im juz too shy to look....and her hair, so smooth and fragrant...i noe coz sumtyms wen she walk by, i can smell it...the smell is juz so wonderful, smth that i can describe but i can recognise anywhr....Well, wat can i say, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and to me, she's juz so beautiful...juz so angelic, so heavenly....juz so beautiful.....

And its not only her looks that is beautiful, her character too...the way she present herself to ppl is wat really attracts me...her attitude, her sense of humour...the way she walk, the way she tok....to me, she's wat i really look for in a gal....

My frens tell me to give things a try, the thing is, i did, and she rejected me...no surprise....n i respect her decision....but some of my closer frens have asked me to try again if i really lyk her as much as i claim i do. But i told dem im not gg to bother her that way again and so they ask me to move on...and i am....or at least trying to.

I really am trying, but i juz cant stop thinking of her....i think of her every single day, sometyms, i dream of her...and its really not helping me to move on....i wish that i can make her happy, even if its in the capacity of a fren....but i guess im juz to shy or afraid to tok to her sometyms...tho i do force myself at tyms....

So now, the thing is, i 1 2 get her smth special or do smth special for her...the occasion being her juz being herself...no special reason lah...juz 1 2 try to make her smile...but im afraid she wld not accept wateva i do or get for her....she may get the wrong idea that i want smth more den frenship from her....the fact is, i accepted the fact that she doesnt want me that way.....tho i still very much do lyk her....

For now, i juz wish she's happy........

PS: To whoever reading this, dun ask me who she is, im not gg to reveal her identity coz i really dun 1 2 shame her...she dun deserve any humiliation that i can offer...so dun ask....juz noe her as NABS....

Shad checked in on...Thursday, June 23, 2005