Monday, March 26, 2007

Falling...

A piece of advice for myself from myself....Get out while u still can, b4 u fall in deeper. Pls, stop urself from falling further. Afterall, u're juz gonna be in her way. Let her be happy. Step aside......

I'm choking on nuthing. Its clear in my head. Knowing nuthing is better den knowing at all....On my Own....

Shad checked in on...Monday, March 26, 2007

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

As i grow older...

I'm all alone in the office rite now. So damn bored. Recently sumone asked me abt y i no longer blog. I dun really have an answer to that. I first started blogging cuz i was bored n wanted to try smth new n oso cuz since blogging was such a popular sport among my frens. It later become a place whr i cld write out how i felt. Later on, i started posting lyrics of songs tat i reccomend ppl to go listen to. But after re-reading my old entries n my tag board (since i got nuthing to do here anyway), i guess this blog is juz a source of entertainment for me. Quoting amal from one of her old tags here, "U do weird stuff when ur bored"

Haha i guess tats the story of my lyf. Ahmad said i've mellowed down these past few years but thinking back, i still do or say weird stuff wen im bored. Who else wld have tot of the now Famous "Nasi Goreng Lebat" hehe for those who have crickets in their brains now, dun hesitate asking me wats tat all abt the next tym u see me online.

I guess lyf have been pretty ok for me. Had a gig last feb, Streetkraft 07. 1st gig i ever organized. Yet, now ppl come to me n ask me abt gigs as if im oredy a pro....c'mon, i've onli juz organized 1, ONE gig. I still got a lot to learn k. I noe several members of Scratch n Streetsites have come up to me saying they respect n salute me for having the guts/vision/ambition or wateva u want to kol it, to organize this gig. Well, all i have to say is tat i appreciate ur support and feedback. I duno if i did a gd job but thks. N also, i must add, i wasn't alone in this. Without roma's, fahmy's n the CC's staff help, StreetKraft 07 wldnt have happen. So pls, dun give me all the credit. They deserve the credits. And so do all the bands that played on that fateful day. Sori the crowd cldn't be bigger. Hope if there is a next tym, it'll be better.

Apart from that, lyf have been kind of a mess. But i guess tats pretty normal isn't it? Who can out rite say they have their lyf in ctrl? Not many. So wat if my lyf was a mess? Im proud of it. Without tat mess, i wldnt be who i am today. Tho i wish i cld be better at expressing myself. Cuz rite now, i have smth to say to someone tat i juz dun noe how to....

U noe that feeling u get wen things are new? Wen everything thing is still exciting? Wen u look foward to the conversations every single day? Or the happiness u get juz by listening to the momentary pause (or silence if u think abt it) during the long hrs of toking. I guess, in a way, im gg thru that wonderful adventure. Im not really sure what to kol it, Love? Nope, too strong. Crush/Lyk? Nah, too weak....i duno.

All i noe is tat im enjoying myself so much tat i wish this never ends. I dun really care how tired i am cuz there have been tyms wen i din get to slp for lyk 2 days...n most of the tym, i juz slp for 1-3 hrs per day. But i noe all good things dun last. I dread the day when this is gona stop. I duno how is gona stop, but i noe one day it will. Yet, i think im not afraid. Im not afraid to feel tat hurting feeling anymore. I tink u're worth it. I dun really noe wat it is abt u. But, i duno lah.

I noe u told me not to hide or keep my tots to myself, but thats how i am. I've never been gd at expressing myself n I've never been comfortable telling ppl how i feel. I wish i cld tell u but i juz duno how to put dem into words. I bet u the words wld be jumbled up if i tried. N i dun even noe how u feel yet. Sure u entertain me practically every nite but tat doesnt reallyprove much. It juz says tat u'r nice. N dun say that u'r heartless, I noe tat hard exterior is juz a front. Even u admit u're shock at how well i noe within such a short tym.

I told a fren of mine awhile ago tat i wasnt really looking for a gf rite now. Im looking for sumone who i can spent tym wif to have fun n njoy. Forget abt all those mushy-mushy stuff. Forget all those reportin of strength tat i've seen my frens do countless of tyms. Basically forget abt all those conventional things that happern in a bgr relationship or wateva u 1 2 kol. Niways, i not sure if i explain it rite but my fren understood me. N she told me wat i wanted was near impossible. I kept quiet n ask myself y? Y is it near impossible? Especially since i think i found tat very person now. That so very special gal. That special gal to whom i...I guess i juz duno wat to say. I hope u get better soon.

I guess as i grow older, i chg. Juz lyk everyone else. Im not sure if i lyk wat im chging into but i cant say i dun lyk it either. I guess lyf will always be lyk tat. U noe, wen everything is gg rite, u will feel lyk u r a gd person. But wen everythings is in chaos u feel lyk all ur frens hate u kinda thing...Wat a drag rite...but wat choice do we have other den live it. Mite as well make full use of it n have fun. N i wish tat we can have the fun together.

This has been one hell of long entry. Juz compensating for the long absence i guess.

Outz....

Shad checked in on...Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Short And Sweet....

This song been kinda stuck in my head for the pst few weeks...God i miss jamming....




im gonna make this short and sweet
im gonna let my heart speak
i've been so mad cuz he treats you bad
but thats not what i would do

cuz id kill for you
id do you things that i know he wouldnt do
i write these words and i want the truth
why cant i be with you
why cant i be the guy for you

he breaks your heart and he tells you lies
why do girls always fall for these guys
he never bothers to listen to you
but thats not what i would do

id kill for you
id do you things that i know he wouldnt do
i write these words and i want the truth
why cant i be with you
why cant i be the guy for you

why cant i be the guy for you..

id kill for you
id do you things that i know he wouldnt do
i write these words and i want the truth
why cant i be with you

id kill for you (id kill for you id kill for you)
id do you things that i know he wouldnt do
i write these words and i want the truth(i cry for you i cry for you)
why cant i be with you
why cant i be the guy for you


Getting to know u have been a wonderful adventure so far...

Shad checked in on...Sunday, March 18, 2007