Friday, May 25, 2007

The Truth

Si je pourrais, je voudrais seulement te faire le sourire, si vous voulez le séjour avec moi pendant quelque temps.

J'ai essayé ainsi écrire dur une chanson pour toi mais moi deviner que mes mots ne feront jamais.


Shad checked in on...Friday, May 25, 2007

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Peechless...

A famous person once said "A person isn't who they are during the last conversation u had wif them. They are who they have been through out the whole relationship."

I guess that means that u shdn't judge a person or blame someone just based on one incident. Judge sumone as a whole. Dun always remember the good or bad a person have done. Remember both. Cos u wouldnt want someone to remember u for onli the bad things rite. I guess u shd always treat sumone the same way u treat others. But i noe all of us are just humans and forget that sometyms.

Why am i saying all of this suddenly? I duno, mebi cos i aint got nuthing better to say. Or mebi cos i feel that what i have to say is better left unsaid, I've lost count of tym when i regret saying stuff. Mebi i shd start keeping quiet more huh? Silence is golden some say. Some say its boring. To me, its deafening.

Many noe im quiet strait foward. I try not to be sometyms but i find it so easy. The onli tym when im not being striat foward is when im avoiding the truth or plainly making ppl paranoid. Y make ppl paranoid? Cos its fun haha yeah i lyk to kid around. But thats a different stroy for a different tym. Back to being strait foward, that's the reason y i keep quiet sometyms. I prefer to state my opinion strait out sometyms, mainly abt how i feel. N sometyms, i feel that by doing that, i may be unfair towards certain ppl. Ppl who may mean alot to me. Let's face it, someone maybe important to u but u may not be as important to him/her. But it won't be fair to complain or be sad abt it. U just got to accept it. Why? Cos lyf is basically unfair.

Ppl may say im thinking negatively but wat is fairness actually? When i say lyf is unfair, i juz mean that everybody won't get the same thing. Simply coz its not possible, unless god wants it to be of cos. So what if lyf's unfair? Im not gonna be one of those who complain n not do shit abt it. I guess i've done that long enuf. Its tym for me to grow up. Tym for me to do smth. Stop dreaming of a happy lyf and start trying to make it happen.

Stop caring if ppl say u're emo. Is wrong for me to have feelings n not bottle it up lyk u ppl? If im wrong for being sad when im truly am sad, den kill me. Mebi im weak if sometyms i just need tym to think. Mebi im weak if sometyms i just start feeling lost. Mebi. But tell me, who have not felt lost before. Not even once? Cmon, dun kid oursleves. Lyf is very complicated. Its stranger den fiction. Its smth not easy to understand. So they's no wrong in being lost or showing how u feel. Its onli human.

But noeing how uncertain lyf is, it makes me wonder abt the future. The other day while in a conversation wif a fren, i started thinking... What if, mebi, just mebi one day, u meet a special person, a great guy. U're interested, he's interested. Suddenly u're toking to him more n more. And we stop toking on the fone. Im ok wif that, kinda expecting it to happen. Den things get more seriuz btwn u n him n i start seeing u less n less online. Hmm, expecting that too. Den u start gg on a aonderful adventure wif him n who noes, 1 year down the road, U happen to be online the same tym as me. U'll look at my nick. Mebi u'll remember me or mebi u'll have to check my email add n try to think who they hell i am. Den mebi u'll realise who i am n mebi we catch up abit saying polite "hello"s and "how r u?"s n the conversation will end a few minits later. Lyf goes on. U fall in love deeper wif him. Den mebi another year or so later, u n him decides to go out lyk u usually do. And den mebi u';; bump into one of my close frens, someone u noe well to mebi. N u'll say hi n say how he's been. He'll say he's fine n stuff. Den u'll ask abt our circle of frens n how they r one by one. U'll go down the list of names. Den mebi, u'll ask, what abt that guy? N u realise u can't even remember my name. N he'll promt u by saying "Oh that guy?", He'll pause n looks down n say that im no longer ard....n u'll be shocked for a moment or two. den a awkward silence. Lyf goes on...

I asked u once, when i die, wld u be at my funeral? U answered me yes. I hope its true but i'll be honest, i won't blame u if u don't. I accepted the fact that im just a fren. N i noe someday mebi we'll lose contact. Heck, mebi someday u won't even remember who i am. And i just wanted to say, it's ok. I won't blame u. That's just how lyf is. But the funny thing abt lyf, there's always hope. So i hope u won't blame me for hoping sometyms. I'm onli human. N i hope u forgive me for keeping quiet sometyms. Its not that i've got nuthing to say. Its juz the opposite in fact. I've got so many things i want to say to u but i noe it wld be unfair to u if i did.

If i could, I'd onli want to make u smile.

Lyf goes on....

Outz.....

Shad checked in on...Saturday, May 05, 2007